The first time that I knew the importance of giving exactly what you receive was after I went through a period of giving too much. Truthfully, I gave that much because I could afford to and because I was being a ‘friend’. That period is a phase in my life that I look back to and mutter a silent thank you because of what I learned. I learned to give exactly what I receive because if I don’t, I will pass through this process of thinking over and over again in my head why this person was acting up and not treating me the way I treated her, and even blame myself for it.

                 It’s not worth your mental health

It’s not worth your mental health to worry over what is not your fault. It is not your fault that the person you are giving 100% is reciprocating with 50% and beating yourself over it definitely won’t change anything. This month is about accepting things as they are and one of the ways of accepting is just to leave things as they are. It is knowing change won’t happen with this person, so it is not worth thinking and brooding about. I felt so bad that I beat myself about it. Always asking myself why I am not receiving as much as I am giving and it really took a toll on my mental health. I am writing this now that it is not worth your mental health. Don’t beat yourself for people like that. 

                  ‘It’s not worth your mental health to worry over what is not your fault. It is not your fault that the person you are giving 100% is reciprocating with 50% and beating yourself over it definitely won’t change anything. This month is about accepting things as they are and one of the ways of accepting is just to leave things as they are. It is knowing change won’t happen won’t happen to this person, so it is not worth thinking and brooding about”.

        People won’t change just because you want them to

I can’t emphasize this enough. Just because you want someone to give you attention doesn’t mean the person will give it to you. Because you are replying fast doesn’t mean they will also reply fast, and there is nothing you can do about this. You can’t force people to love you, and they won’t change just because you want them to. It is a bitter pill to swallow but it is the truth. I want you to know that the focus of this post is you. You are all that matters and please, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. 

          Giving exactly what you receive will give you peace

 When you give exactly what you receive, there will be no room for thinking why the other person isn’t giving as much. I assure you, most times the person won’t even notice you stopped giving much. There is a liberation that comes with feeling indifferent towards something you used to care too much for. That is what I did, I changed my feelings to indifference. I placed the person in the same level that I’m with her. 

      It is important to note that we shouldn’t give people the chance to control our happiness. In the process of writing this post, something exciting happened to me and out of the Joy, I shared it with someone and I didn’t receive the compliments I thought I would. I felt sad for a bit, but then I asked myself ‘who is benefiting from this feeling?’ me! No one else but me. The person isn’t even aware that I felt sad and I am the one that will go through all the pain just because I am letting someone have the power of my feelings. No one can get to you without your permission.

  I am urging you to give what you receive because of you. I don’t want you to feel you don’t matter because of what someone thinks or because of their action towards you. You matter, regardless of anyone’s behavior or actions. Accept things as they are and move on.  

     ‘It is important to note that we shouldn’t give people the chance to control our happiness’

Thank you for reading. Tell me what and how you feel about this in the comments section. Don’t forget to stay safe and wash your hands. Always remember you matter.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

 

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