How do you stop conforming?

What are the things we want to do but we can’t because of how society has shaped us? Mine is a long list and it includes so many things like, wearing what I want, looking how I want to, socializing with who I want to, sexual freedom, and if I continue we’ll be here all day. One thing I have noticed throughout my life as a feminist is how hard it is to unlearn gender roles. How do you stop conforming?

The rejection journey hasn’t been easy but what matters is the fact that I’m rejecting it. It started the moment I know I don’t want to be told to do anything because of my gender. I don’t want to be told to bend down and sweep because I’m a girl, I don’t want to be told to learn how to cook because that’s what men desire in women. In fact, my rejection journey included not caring what men thought of me anymore.

What does freedom mean to you?

I was on Kiki Mordi’s twitter page and she asked ‘what does freedom mean to you?’ Freedom, to me, means the ability to be sexual without criticisms. Freedom means the ability to reject internalized gender roles and misogyny. It means the ability to tell my crush I like him without criticisms. Freedom means women being free from all sorts of patriarchal oppression. Along the line, I realized my definition of freedom can be different from the next person’s definition of freedom. Above all what matters is we are all breaking free of rigid rules that have been set for us. We are breaking free from roles that are streamlining us, and we are breaking free of societal gender roles.

‘Along the line, I realized my definition of freedom can be different from the next person’s definition of freedom. Above all what matters is we are all breaking free of rigid rules that have been set for us. We are breaking from roles that are streamlining us, and we breaking free of societal gender roles’

What about you?

Gender roles can be breaking, especially to those who are forced to do it. Asking yourself what freedom means to you is important, asking yourself how you can grow in your most authentic self is also important. We all know the ways we have been told to act a certain way because of our gender and how it has affected us. How I stopped conforming to societal gender roles is by realizing that I am more than what society has made of me and knowing feminism is liberation. I am unlearning gender roles and I am making progress with it. I want to ask you, how do you stop conforming to societal gender roles? How are you unlearning? Please, let me know in the comment section below.

photo credit: Temidire Adelakun

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