How do you know when to let go of relationships?

Recently, I came to realize that relationships are essential. Even if you do not want them, it’s something you will eventually find yourself in. Most times, you find out you really enjoy being in those relationships. Oftentimes, you thank your stars for letting you find such a person. “No human can live in isolation” is often said and it’s true. We want to be with people and we want to be loved. Not necessarily made a priority but becoming a safe space for the other person.

As I have come to realize though, not all of these relationships end well. There will come a time when one person has to let go. It’s not because they no longer love the other person (the reason can also be falling out of love) but because they had to let go. Part of the reasons is what I will disclose below.

“We want to be with people and we want to be loved. Not necessarily made a priority but becoming a safe space for the other person.”

The blog theme for this month is engaging in what really matters and knowing when to let go is part of it. I believe making the decision to let go really is personal for the person making the decision. It can be a way of choosing yourself over everything else, and you are all that matters. So, when it is time to let go? How do you decide you no longer want part of whatever you are going through?

1. When you no longer feel like yourself

I know how I am like, I know what gives me joy, and what I will want is to be with someone who resonates that. The person necessarily doesn’t have to be interested in the things I am interested in, but I should be able to be myself when I am with them. When you no longer feel like yourself with your people, when you constantly have to hide who you really are because they are not comfortable with it are signs it’s time to let go. Having to pretend takes the bloom off the rose, and when the bloom is off, there is nothing else. When you no longer feel like yourself, it’s time to let go.

“When you no longer feel like yourself with your people, when you constantly have to hide who you really are because they are not comfortable with it are signs it’s time to let go. Having to pretend takes the bloom off the rose, and when the bloom is off, there is nothing else.”

2. Because of the other person (How do you know when to let go)

This happens when you realize the other person isn’t as engaged and committed in the relationship as you. Maybe you feel the person is with you out of pity but not out of love. I read about a K-drama, The Third Charm, and at the end of it, it wasn’t the usual happy ever after endings of K-dramas. At the end of this drama, they had to leave each other or rather, the guy left the girl because he realized he didn’t love her, he pitied her and he took it for love. This can be a reason to let go of relationships. The other person can be the reason why you have to let go in your relationship and it’s often accompanied by ‘I just want them to be happy and it’s not right to be stuck in a relationship with someone they don’t want to be with.’

Against that backdrop, you also know the best time to let go of your relationships. Is it when the relationship starts to drain your energy? When you find out your feelings aren’t being reciprocated? Is it when you realize that you give more than you receive? If you have had to go through letting go, feel free to share it with us in the comments section. Thank you for reading.

You matter.

Photo Credit: Marina Kazmirova from Unsplash

 

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