What does it mean to love yourself? I’ll start with a short story about me. The first year I got into university, I met this guy and I liked him. It was unrequited but I remember fawning over him for years and now that I think back, it happened that way because I didn’t love myself enough to dismiss the feelings. In fact, I sought validation from the fact that he might like me back. Loving ourselves can’t be talked about enough because we are the only constant person in our lives.
Know that self-love is not a destination but a journey.
Self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. Since my unrequited feelings to date, I’m learning new ways to love myself every day. Finding new things that interest me, I stopped seeking validation from people, and every day I make the conscious effort of taking steps towards loving myself. People who you think completes you and make you whole might leave you one day. You might find yourself alone and at the end of the day, you are the only person left for you. We must continue to make the conscious effort to love ourselves. Self-love journey is a journey we embark on, it’s finding new things to interest us. It’s finding new relationships and being in relationships that aid our growth. It should be constant. Self-love is constant.
“Self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. Since my unrequited feelings to date, I’m learning new ways to love myself every day. I find new things to interest me, I stopped seeking validation from people, and every day I make the conscious effort to take new steps towards loving myself”.
Realize that love is a choice
Self-love is a choice. It’s a series of decisions you make daily. Making the decision to love yourself, the decision to do and engage in activities that suits you. It is the decision to be in relationships that will add to your growth, the decision to help yourself glow. Self-love involves your conscious decision to love yourself. It’s an act that you grow through the choice of behaviors and attitudes. To love yourself, you have to make the choice to do so.
Self-love doesn’t mean being selfish though. I enjoy being the rainbow in other people’s clouds and I also enjoy brightening people’s days through simple acts of kindness because as I’ve come to realize, little things matter the most and I appreciate the little and big blessings life offers me. I appreciate my family and friends, and I urge you to do the same. It is creating a purpose for me. Holding myself in high esteem and associating with people who motivate me are all conscious efforts of loving myself.
Know you are all that matters.
The moment I realized that love isn’t just a feeling but a choice, I chose and I will continue to love myself. Loving myself and realizing I’m good enough brought me out from the box of people’s expectations. Setting boundaries and engaging myself in activities I enjoy doing the most such as reading, writing, loving myself. I created goals for myself and I held on firmly to my family’s mantra, which is ‘Whatever you are doing, you must do it well’. I began picking myself first, and I rejected every person, thought, or/and activity that will drain my energy.
‘Self-love doesn’t mean being selfish though. I enjoy being the rainbow in other people’s clouds. I also enjoy brightening people’s days through a simple act of kindness because as I’ve come to realize, little things matter the most and I appreciate the little and big blessings life offers me’
Right now, I’m still scared of lonely. I’m still not very confident about speaking in public. In fact, starting this blog was a little hard because of “what if I fail” voice in my head. Here I am though, writing and proving that I’m good enough. Even if I fail, at least I tried. Above all, I matter very much, I matter to the world, I matter in my relationships, and I matter in everything I do.
In the middle of writing this piece, I thought about changing the title to ‘being a rainbow in someone else’s cloud’, but then I realized that to be a rainbow I have to love myself. Well, today I was a rainbow in someone else’s cloud, the big-hearted “thank you” I received made me happy and it brightened my day. After that, I had a short rest, took a walk, talked to a friend, brainstormed, and came up with this.
Thank you for reading. I know there are many more ways to love ourselves that I didn’t include in this post. Please, feel free to share more ways in the comments section below. I love you and you matter.